Thurs. 12/9: I am making myself sit down and blog tonight. Dog gone it! The days and weeks are just flying by. Every night I keep thinking I’ll sit down to write and then the day comes and goes, and look here, it’s been another 2 ½ weeks. I am going to have to back-track a bit to catch everything up to date. Bear with me. I am going to post my thoughts for the following days as I remember them.
(Fri. 12/3): Man, a lot can happen in a couple of short weeks… This whole running thing is starting to overwhelm me. The weather was bad with rain for several days and then the cold finally set in. Sat. Nov. 27th, was my next run after the big 18-20 miles. I ran in the neighborhood with my new friend and we did 8 miles. I was glad to run since it had been another whole week between my last run. I know my training has been really haphazard lately. I also know I have been doing just the minimum to get by, although not on purpose. With rainy, cold weather, it’s really hard to be motivated. And when I have to run alone, well, it just makes it suck that much more… Top it off with work, a four year old, PMS (sorry guys, TMI, but you’ll get over it), and all the holiday stuff going on… I have to admit, I am not as motivated as I was just two short weeks ago. I feel like my “get up and go” has “gotten up and gone.”
During the past couple of weeks, I have been regularly seeing the P/T and also getting Chiropractic adjustments and massages. I know that those things have really helped. I don’t think I could have ever gotten this far without them. Also, my dad surprised me by funding me to buy the runner’s watch I wanted. Can I hear a big “Yahoo!” I was (and am) very excited about it. I went walking 4.5 miles last night in my neighborhood with a friend of mine and it was so cool to be able to track our distance, time and pace. My goal is to run 15-20 miles tomorrow (because the cold weather is coming back again on Sunday (with a chance of snow flurries- YIKES!) Confession: My eating has been really out of control- basically starving all day because I am so busy with work and all the Dr’s appts, that I have been gorging out at night, which I know is terrible. I started wondering if I am subconsciously self-sabotaging myself from making a decent finish time for the race. It’s like, I know I should be (need to be) running 3-4 miles at least twice during the week and then doing the longer runs every weekend. I also know I should be eating better- no Juju Bees, pizza, Pringles or McDonald’s… Yet, that is what I seem to eating a lot of lately. Tomorrow I need to run 18-20 miles. I am not looking forward to it since 1) my schedule is really busy and I’ll be doing things back to back all day and into the night 2) I’m tired! 3) To be blunt, this weather sucks! 4) I am finding myself very unmotivated today and feeling very out of shape. 5) I am worrying that maybe I never did get to 18 miles in 3 ½ hours the other weekend and when I try to attempt it tomorrow, I may fail miserably. (If I wasn’t back-tracking my thoughts right now, I’d beg you to say a little pray for me at this time.) My friend that I ran the 8 miles with the other day said she would meet up with me to do some of the run. For that, I am thankful! I am relieved that I won’t have to run the whole time alone. As the song says, ‘One IS the loneliest number…”
(Sat. 12/4): Well, I got a later start than I wanted to today, but I decided to put my feet where they needed to be, which was on the road. I debated a good long time on whether or not to run today. It has been drizzling on and off all day so far and it’s pretty chilly out too. Plus, I couldn’t get a hold of my friend that was going to meet up with me to run. Am thinking she does not want to go out in this miserable weather and I really don’t blame her. It’s darn icky out. Dreading every minute, but too determined not to do it, I put my running shoes on and head out to my “Old Faithful” Park near my house. This is the one that has the monotonous 1.2 mile loop that I have done so many of my runs at. I feel comfortable there and even though it’s a bit boring, I feel safe and I know where everything is and if I have to stop running, I will know how to get home or off the track if the weather gets too bad. My friend (the one with the dog) said she may try to catch up with me later so I am really hoping that will pan out. Girded with my running belt, 20 oz. of water, my energy chews and my new watch, I get to the start of the loop, take a deep breath and hit the start button on my watch. I am one of three people I see at the park. “Fine by me,” I try to reassure to myself. (This is going to be a longer afternoon than I thought.) I finish my first mile and check my watch. Okay, so far, so good. I do it in under 9 ½ minutes. Let’s see how long I can keep up the pace. By mile 3, I start seeing a few more people out at the park and one guy who is running loops in the opposite direction as me, but I can see that we keep passing each other so I know he is in it for a long haul too. I do 6 miles total at the park and I am bored to death. I hit “pause” on my watch and run to the bathroom. When I get done, I make the decision to head out of the park and venture out onto the road and sidewalks outside of the park. I choose to optimistically run in the direction of where my friend with the dog lives. If she calls me, I can meet her close to her house. I punch “un-pause” on my watch and start my feet moving again. I run and run and still no word from my friend. Bummer. I decide to head on down to the Chick-Fil-A that’s nearby. I’ll stop in there to refresh, use the bathroom and rest a minute. Once I get there, I pause my watch again and get a fruit cup. As I sit there, my phone rings. Joy! It’s my friend with the dog and she still wants to run- even in this crappy weather. She’s running late, but she’s going to call me as soon as she gets home so we can meet up. I have already done about ten miles at this point. Only another 8-10 to go… I leave Chick-Fil-A and start towards her neighborhood. Meanwhile, I call my hubby to check in and let him know where I am at and where I am headed. He is not thrilled that I am running this far today in this weather and he is suggesting that I head home at this point because it will be getting dark outside soon. He definitely is concerned about me leaving my car at the park because he thinks they may lock the gates at sunset and then I won’t be able to get it when I am done with my run. He gets me paranoid so I instead of running circles near my friend’s neighborhood until she makes it home, I make the executive decision to run all the way back to get my car out of the park before it closes. I am about ¾ of the way there when my friend calls me. After I let her know that I need to move my car, we agree to meet up at a location not too far from the park. Then, hubby calls me. He’s really pushing me to go home now. Worried that I will get sick or worse, he does his best to convince me that I am nuts and should take better care of myself. But at this point, there is no turning back for me. I have come too far today not to finish and rain or wind or cold air be damned because I am NOT quitting! Besides, God sent me a friend and her dog to finish this run with me so I can do this. I HAVE to do this. Reluctantly, my hubby concedes. He knows he can’t change my mind, but he is not at all happy about my decision. Still running all this time, even while on the phone, I hit the pause button one last time so I am not counting my drive time to the meet up location as part of my run. Once my friend, her dog and I meet up, I un-pause my watch again and we take off. At first I am keeping up pretty well with the two of them. All things considered, I was pretty proud of myself because they are usually a bit faster than me and here I am maintaining their pace and I have already gotten 14 miles under my belt. By mile 15, I am plum worn out! It’s dark, it’s lightly raining, it’s getting colder and boy oh boy, I wish I had my gloves on. I am really slowing down, but my friend is encouraging me and keeping me going. I take lots of short 10 second walk breaks- something I have not done much of up until this point. We are running along in the dark, our flashing reflectors and lots of car headlights are all we can see very well. I get up to mile 16, then 17… I am mentally counting down the last mile and keep looking at my watch to see how much farther until I hit 18 miles. I will stop at 18 because I am so tired that to think about 20 is just too much for me right now. Only .7 to go…Then .6, .5, .4, .3, .2… Holy Cow… Finally, .1. I check my watch again and I see it change to 18 miles and I hit “pause” immediately. I DID it. I freaking DID it! According my watch, I really ran 18 miles. Total running time 3hr, 23 minutes and 35 seconds! WAHOOOO for me! I hug my friend and she is congratulating me and I just feel so overwhelmed and grateful. As I get in the car to leave, I am sitting there thanking God for sending me another “angel” to help me finish. It makes me think of Phil- my “angel” at the ½ marathon. I say little prayer for him and also for my friend and her dog to get home safely. With a big sigh of accomplishment and relief, I head home knowing that I really did 18 miles today. A feeling of pride and accomplishment well up inside me.
The rest of the weekend and on through the new week are filled with more Dr’s appts. Back to see the Chiro, the massage therapist and back to P/T. The weather is cold all week and windy. Again, I haven’t run all week. I did get a call from the sports medicine Dr’s wife. She and I were going to run this past Tues., but her child was not feeling well and with the weather being so cold, I easily opt out, but we agree to try to get together soon.
Right now it’s Thurs. 12/9 at 2:30am. I really wanted to catch up on this blog so I have deliberately stayed up to do so. I guess when I put my mind something, I am finding that I do it!
I am planning on doing a 10 mile run this weekend and maybe some loop walks around the neighborhood with some friends. After watching The Biggest Loser this week and seeing the final four run a marathon, I am feeling confident I too, can do it
I am still feeling pretty proud of myself today. I pray I can stay mentally positive and physically well enough to complete my goal. Only 5 weeks to go…
“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.” John Quincy Adams